How to lose an iPhone

So I have an iPhone, and it is probably the most useful thing I own (especially when traveling to cities that I have never been too). But yesterday, my world began spiraling out of control in a matter of moments when I was standing in line at the post office and REALIZED THAT MY PHONE WAS NOT IN MY POCKET! So as a public service, here are the steps to losing an iPhone on the bus:

1) Wear athletic shorts. Their loose pockets that have a steep angle of descent while seated (in lets say a bus seat) make it easy for the phone to slip out.

2) While riding the bus, realize that when you wear these shorts in the car your phone falls out. Mentally note to check for the phone when you get up.

3) Get off the bus, dismissing your previous thoughts regarding phones falling out of pockets.

In case you rock at sarcasm, this is how I did it, so it must work pretty well! I then proceeded to sprint at the speed of light to catch the bus, and the bus driver handed my phone to me when I uttered the words "I left my..." - THANK GOD! Mr. Bus Driver even called one of my friends and told him the bus number and stuff - way to go Valley Metro!

Take it from a seasoned pro: please secure your cell phone before disembarking from any public transportation vehicle (unless you are looking for a surprise dose of cardiovascular exercise).